A Guide to Picking the Best Sports Coach for Your Child: Tips on What to Look For and Avoid

The moment where you realize you have found a great coach is like discovering a hidden treasure, except instead of rare jewels, it's the knowledge that in the next hour your child will not only develop their skills, but also develop as a person. Sport teaches so much more than physical prowess, but this is very dependent on the presence of a strong leader with a moral compass and a sixth sense for when to challenge and when to offer support. So, why are coaches becoming increasingly prevalent in young children's lives? how do you find a great coach? What should you look for? What are the red flags? I will endeavour to answer these questions in the article below.


At ‘Infant to Athlete’ we preach about the benefits of sport. However, whilst sport should be a positive experience, this is not a guarantee. Some children have a negative experience that has an impact on lifetime physical activity levels. When you consider the health benefits that accompany being physically active, this is a huge concern! The coach is a key factor in determining a young child's experience of physical activity, and due to societal changes, the coach is responsible for an increasing proportion of a child’s play time.

If you spot an over-reliance on mini-games and scrimmage, it is likely the coach's main motivation is the pay cheque. The children will likely find this approach enjoyable and so the parent gets caught in, what I like to call, the ‘did you have fun today?’ trap.

Gone are the days when children are left to go out and play freely. Modern life has led to a more scheduled and structured approach to play. With the rising likelihood that both parents are working or that a single parent is taking care of the children, time for play needs to be pencilled into the calendar. With time becoming a more precious commodity, screens are often the easier tool for distracting children. After all, you don’t have to fight traffic to drop your child off to the latest episode of Peppa Pig! Parents that do still value physical activity manage to find time in the schedule for a sports club. Parents are given a break as their children are kept active and develop in a fun, safe environment. Here is where the sports coach earns their stripes (which will also come in handy for when they have to referee – budum tsh).


So, what should you look for in a good sports coach? Let’s start with the obvious, it is essential that they have the necessary qualifications and experience to teach the sport in question. They should also possess good communication skills and be able to effectively motivate and encourage their participants. At your first session you should notice that they have a good rapport with the existing club members, and they should make your child feel welcome. Small tricks like quickly learning your child’s name and pairing them up with a friendly peer are good signs. At this age range especially, the coach should put more emphasis on skill development and fun over winning and results. They should encourage effort and attempting the correct skill or strategy even if the result ends poorly. For example, if a child is playing soccer and gives away a goal passing out of defence, it is much better that they are going through the right processes of maintaining possession rather than putting their foot through the ball aimlessly. A good coach will be able to balance being approachable with having high expectations regarding effort and be able to maintain these standards without resorting to negative feedback.

On the flip side, a bad coach can undo the good work that you’ve done as a parent preparing your child for sport up to this point. There are three main red flags that get me walking over to my car boot to collect my ‘don’t send kids here’ sign. The first of these is a lack of passion for the job. If you spot an over-reliance on mini-games and scrimmage, it is likely the coach's main motivation is the pay cheque. The children will likely find this approach enjoyable and so the parent gets caught in, what I like to call, the ‘did you have fun today?’ trap. If you are looking for your child to have the best chance of success in sport then, whilst fun is important, it shouldn’t be the sole focus of a session. You should always be looking for your child to learn something new or progress in a skill they already possess. Make sure you have a coach that gives positive feedback on how to improve and challenges the children with progressive activities.


The second red flag is an over emphasis on results. A coach who puts an overemphasis on results may neglect to teach important skills and techniques, or may not provide opportunities for all players to participate and learn. This can have a psychological impact on a child whose motivation starts to subconsciously change from a desire to play sport for fun, to a desire to please their coach. This is a dangerous place for a young athlete’s mind to be. Any negative feedback from this point can lead to a loss of confidence, self-esteem, and even willingness to participate at all. I am by no means suggesting an extremist ‘everyone is a winner’ approach because learning to lose is part of becoming mentally resilient, however winning should certainly take a backseat on the motivational bus at this developmental stage. Make sure your coach differentiates the activities so that they are inclusive, and they put an emphasis on improvement as well as fun.


The third red flag is a lack of respect for the importance of fundamental movement skills at this age range. These are the basic movements that are essential for physical development and lay the foundation for more advanced physical skills and activities later on. If a coach’s main strategy to improve his players is repetitive practice, then it is likely they lack the right mindset for youth sports. Instead, look for a coach using varied practices where lots of different types of movements are encouraged.

If a coach’s main strategy to improve his players is repetitive practice, then it is likely they lack the right mindset for youth sports.

As a parent, it is your responsibility to ensure that your child is being coached by someone who is capable and caring. Do your research, ask for recommendations, and, if possible, observe a coach in action before committing to a club or team. It is also important to keep an open line of communication with your child's coach and to address any concerns you may have. Also, change your question after a session from ‘did you have fun?’ to ‘what did you learn today?’.


In summary, finding the right sports coach for your child is crucial. Look for someone who is qualified, caring, and able to create a positive team culture. By taking the time to do your research and choose wisely, you can ensure that your child has an experience that is not only enjoyable, but hugely developmental both physically and mentally.

by Gary South

Gary is the founder of Infant to Athlete and has consulted on Physical Education and sports coaching internationally.

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